Ahead, we’re breaking down the ins and outs of this TikTok trend with the help of Liz Daniels, DO, RD, FAAP, a pediatrician, dietitian, and founder of New Story Nutrition in Cincinnati, Ohio.

What is a Dopamine Menu?

A dopamine menu is a personalized list of activities that are designed to boost your mood (and substitute mindless binges on your phone) in a healthy, sustainable way. The activities are categorized into appetizers, entrees, sides, desserts, and specials, which vary based on the time, effort, and quality of the activity at hand. “The different sections include tools to help motivate you to be more productive and are also based on how much dopamine ‘payoff’ you get,” says Dr. Daniels.

To quickly recap, dopamine is commonly referred to as the feel-good hormone. It’s involved in your internal reward system and also enhances the expectation of pleasure—even if it never materializes. (Think: staying glued to your phone and constantly refreshing your social feeds, thinking something amazing will pop up.)

Per Dr. Daniels, dopamine menus are particularly beneficial for children and adults with ADHD. However, it can be helpful for anyone who needs more structure and motivation to keep up with healthy habits and routines.

Dopamine Menu vs. Dopamine Detox

A dopamine detox is another way to avoid quick rushes of dopamine. “It purposefully restricts behaviors that people overindulge in, like doomscrolling, overeating, playing video games for hours, and watching YouTube Shorts,” she says, Dr. Daniels. They typically last for a short period of time, like a day or a week. “Some people aim to do this to ‘reset’ their mind so that the everyday activities feel more meaningful,” she continues.

Meanwhile, a dopamine menu mindfully introduces more healthy yet still satisfying activities that you can include in your everyday life. This helps keep dopamine levels steady, thus promoting a stable mood and positive reinforcement to maintain healthy habits.

“Dopamine menus are intended to help people have an easy, go-to list of ways to engage their mind instead of overindulging in a behavior they want to change,” says Dr. Daniels. She adds that it’s also helpful to spark motivation to do tasks that feel less desirable but yield positive outcomes (e.g., drinking more water, exercising regularly, and cleaning).

How to create your own dopamine menu

The best dopamine menu for you will vary based on your needs and interests. To create one for yourself, Dr. Daniels advises listing your favorite activities, categorizing them into hold long they take, if it can be done alongside another activity, if it needs a time boundary (like screen time), or if it’s a special or expensive activity. From there, you can sort these activities into your menu categories as follows:

Appetizers

Your appetizers should take five minutes or less of your time. You can lean on these for a quick, feel-good break throughout your day.

Examples:

• Making a coffee
• Enjoying a healthy snack
• Getting a few minutes of sunshine and fresh air
• Looking at photos of loved ones

Entrees

Entrees serve as your main course. They take a bit more time to do, but fill you up more than snacks do. You can think of them as a time investment that could end up being one of the highlights of your day.

Examples:

• Getting dinner with a friend
• Going to a workout class
• Having a catch-up call with a loved one
• Cooking your favorite meal

Sides

This part of your dopamine menu is essentially the same as habit stacking. Sides include feel-good activities that you can stack onto things you already do throughout the day. These are also perfect to pair with chores, which might not be so fun but can be more enjoyable with the right pairing.

Examples:

• Listening to calming music while doing your skincare routine
• Reading a book on the subway ride to work
• Burning a scented candle while cleaning your home
• Taking your personalized supplements with lunch

Desserts

Desserts comprise the things that give us a strong but fleeting dopamine hit and are best enjoyed in moderation. In many cases, they’ll include the things some of us might need a dopamine detox from. It’s important to reframe them not as wrong or bad, but simply things to keep in check since they tend to distract us from achieving our greater goals (e.g., financial wellness, getting enough sleep, maintaining a healthy weight) and well-being.

Examples:

• Feasting on sweets
• Going shopping
• Scrolling on social media
• Binge-watching Netflix

Specials

Last but not least, specials are the limited-edition options on your dopamine menu. They’re something to look forward to every so often—perhaps once a month, seasonally, or annually—that feel rewarding and are good for your soul, too.

Examples:

• Having a spa day
• Going on vacation
• Going to a concert
• Having an IRL reunion with family or friends

The Takeaway

Creating a dopamine menu is a helpful way to maintain healthy habits, mind your mood, and support overall well-being. It offers an at-the-ready, dependable framework to keep your dopamine levels in check (minus highs and lows) while inching you closer to your goals.

The post Should You Make a Dopamine Menu to Mind Your Mood and Spark Motivation? appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

What Is Mindful Eating?

At its core, mindful eating is all about paying attention to what we’re eating, how we’re eating, and how we feel afterward. Certified nutritionist and founder of The Vendura Method, Lisa Schultz says, “Are we eating fast or slow? Are we eating because we’re actually hungry, or out of boredom or stress? And then after the meal, do we feel full and satisfied? Or do we feel bloated, tired, or even in pain?” Mindful eating encourages you to start connecting the dots between your eating habits and how your body feels in response, helping you make better choices moving forward, not because of willpower, but because of awareness.

What Happens to Your Body When You Practice Mindful Eating?

Heightened Awareness of Hunger and Fullness

One of the most immediate benefits of mindful eating is learning to recognize your body’s natural hunger and fullness cues. Instead of eating just because the clock says it’s lunchtime or food is in front of you, you pause and ask: “Am I actually hungry?” According to Schultz, “When we’re not paying attention—eating while working, running between meetings—we miss our body’s signals. We might ignore hunger cues and get overly hungry, which leads to overeating later. Or we keep eating past fullness because we’re distracted and not tuned in.” Mindful eating helps you catch these cues before they turn into hanger or a food coma.

Reduces Emotional Eating and Stress

Many of us eat not out of hunger, but to soothe emotions like stress, boredom, or sadness. Emotional hunger often hits suddenly and is tied to cravings for specific comfort foods—think chips, cookies, or ice cream—not general nourishment. “Physical hunger tends to build gradually… emotional hunger is more like, ‘I’ve had a rough day, I need something sweet.’ You’re not actually hungry, but you want comfort,” explains Schultz. Recognizing the difference allows you to pause, assess what you really need, and make a more empowered decision. In fact, a Wiley study found that mindfulness-based strategies effectively reduce binge behaviors, food-related anxiety, and emotional eating patterns.

Supports Portion Control and Better Food Choices

When you eat more slowly and with intention, you naturally feel more satisfied with less. Tuning into your body not only helps prevent overeating, it also heightens your awareness of how different foods affect your energy, digestion, and mood. If you’re feeling sluggish or bloated after eating, Schultz recommends reflecting on your diet. “What did you eat? What made you feel that way? That awareness can totally shift how you make food choices moving forward,” she says. With time, your preferences often shift toward more nourishing, whole foods—not because you “should” eat them, but because they make you feel good.

May Support Weight Loss and Help Treat Disordered Eating

Mindful eating isn’t a crash diet—it’s a sustainable approach to food that can support gentle, consistent weight loss. It’s especially effective for those with binge eating tendencies or a history of restrictive dieting. Therapists and dietitians often incorporate mindful eating awareness habits into treatment for binge eating disorder (BED), helping individuals build trust in their body’s cues without shame or rigidity. Even without tracking calories, people often find they naturally eat less and feel better when they’re truly tuned in.

Can Support Gut Health

Mindful eating also benefits digestion in a big way. “Our gut can only handle so much at once,” Schultz explains. “When we eat too much, eat too fast, or eat super processed foods—especially when we’re stressed or emotional—it can overload the system and mess with digestion.” Chewing thoroughly and slowing down your meals gives your gut the space it needs to work properly, improving enzyme production, nutrient absorption, and reducing bloating or acid reflux. “You don’t need a million supplements or a crazy elimination diet,” she adds. “Sometimes just chewing slower, eating real food, and stopping before you’re stuffed is all your gut needs.”

How to Practice Mindful Eating in Everyday Life

Mindful eating isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present. Here are a few practical ways to get started:

• Keep a food journal—not for calories, but for awareness. One of the first things Schultz has new clients do is keep a food log. “Jot down what you ate, what time you ate it, and how you felt over the next 15 minutes to 3 hours. ‘Did you feel satisfied? Still hungry? Bloated? Tired? Did you feel nothing at all?’ Write that down. Then at the end of the week, look back and see what patterns you notice.”
• Check in with yourself before you eat. Ask yourself, “Am I truly hungry?” If you’re not sure, try drinking a glass of water or taking a short walk first. Boredom can often be mistaken for hunger.
• Slow it down. Set a timer for 20 minutes and pace your meal accordingly. This is the amount of time it takes to signal satiety in your brain, reducing the likelihood of overeating.
• Minimize distractions. Avoid eating in front of the TV, while you’re scrolling through your phone, or on a computer. Focus solely on your meal—this helps you be more aware of your hunger and fullness cues.
• Take smaller bites and chew thoroughly. Taking smaller bites and thoroughly chewing helps improve your digestive system and gives your brain time to register satiety.
• Savor the experience. Pay attention to flavors, textures, smells, and how the food makes you feel. This not only increases the level of satisfaction with your meal but also helps you reconnect with the pleasure of eating. (See how HUM’s own RD eats mindfully in a day.)

Mindful eating isn’t a quick fix—but a lasting one. By learning to listen to your body, slowing down, and genuinely enjoying your meals, you create a sustainable path to weight management and a stronger foundation for overall health—no crash diets required.

In the long run, mindful eating is less about what’s on your plate and more about how you relate to it. You begin to notice how different foods affect your energy, digestion, and mood. You eat because you’re hungry—not out of stress or boredom. You stop when you’re satisfied—not when your plate is empty.

That shift is what makes mindful eating so transformative: it’s not just about managing your weight—it’s about rebuilding trust in your body and reclaiming a sense of control, peace, and joy around food. And in a world full of shortcuts and extremes, that kind of sustainable self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can have.

Mindful Eating FAQs

Can mindful eating help with weight loss, or is it more about maintenance?

While it may not produce rapid weight loss like extreme diets or medications, mindful eating can be an effective strategy for both losing and maintaining weight, especially for people who tend to overeat or emotionally eat.

How can someone practice mindful eating when they’re busy, distracted, or eating on the go?

Start small. Even if you can’t eat in silence for 20 minutes, you can take a few deep breaths before a meal, put your phone away, or chew a few bites slowly. Treat mindfulness as a muscle—it will strengthen over time.

Can people practice mindful eating alongside other nutrition plans, like intermittent fasting or keto?

Absolutely. Mindful eating is about awareness, not rules. You can practice it no matter what type of eating pattern you follow—it simply helps you tune into your body’s needs within that framework.

The post Why Mindful Eating Is Paramount for Weight Management appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

In other words, your metabolism isn’t just about food—it’s about friendships, too.

Here’s how chronic loneliness can impact your metabolic health, plus five innovative, summer-ready strategies to boost both your social life and your metabolism.

First, How Does Loneliness Affect Emotional Well-Being?

Neuroscientist, wellness coach, and founder of Manifest Wellness Jamey Maniscalco explains, “When we feel persistently disconnected from others, the brain interprets this as a form of social threat. This activates our stress response system, especially areas like the amygdala, which increases anxiety and sensitivity to rejection. At the same time, the brain’s reward centers, such as the ventral striatum (a hub for dopamine reward/pleasure/motivation signaling), become less active – meaning even enjoyable moments might feel flat or unmotivating.” Over time, this imbalance leads to emotional consequences like depression and withdrawal, while physically causing metabolic damage to the body.

Loneliness and Your Metabolism: What’s the Link?

When you’re lonely, your body enters a subtle but persistent state of stress. This then triggers elevated levels of cortisol, your body’s primary stress hormone. “While cortisol is helpful in short bursts (e.g., to help you manage short-term stressful events), sustained elevation over time throws off your body’s internal rhythm,” Maniscalco says. When these levels are chronically high, it can result in:

• Increased fat storage (especially around the abdomen)
• Insulin resistance
• Cravings for high-sugar, high-fat foods
• Disrupted sleep, which in turn slows metabolism
• Inflammation, which can suppress metabolic function
  

“When cortisol stays high, it tells your liver to release more glucose and makes it harder for your muscles and fat cells to absorb it. This leads to higher blood sugar, more cravings (especially for comfort foods), and increased risk of insulin resistance,” he adds. Loneliness can also reduce your motivation to stay active or eat nutritious foods (such as high-protein foods), triggering irritability, fatigue, and mood swings. Studies have shown that people who feel socially isolated also have a higher risk of obesity, type 2 diabetes, and metabolic syndrome.

5 Ways to Rev Up Your Social Life and Metabolism This Summer

1. Start Small

According to Maniscalco, the best thing you can do to improve your mental health is to start small. “Reach out to one trusted friend, join a group centered around something you enjoy (like art, movement, or books), or volunteer for a cause that feels meaningful. These settings naturally reduce the pressure to “perform” socially, and they offer a shared purpose, which makes connection easier.” He also says that brief, everyday interactions such as talking with a barista, neighbor, or fellow dog walker can “rewire your brain toward openness and connection.” These micro-moments can then result in increased feelings of belonging while boosting our overall mood.

2. Reconnect with Movement-Based Activities

Group fitness classes, walking clubs, paddleboarding meetups—these are more than just workouts. They’re also community-building experiences. Social exercise has a double metabolic benefit: it gets your heart rate up while reducing the feelings of isolation that trigger stress-related metabolic slowdowns. Pairing it with a protein powder like HUM’s Core Strength can help preserve lean muscle, especially if you’re increasing your physical activity. Additionally, complete proteins like Core Strength help reduce post-workout fatigue, so you have more energy to stay social and active instead of crashing after your fitness class or long walk.

3. Add a GLP-1 Booster to Support Satiety and Gut Health

Your gut plays a major role in metabolic health, and HUM’s Flatter Me Fiber GLP-1 Booster supports the body’s natural production of the hormone. Our fiber-based supplement is designed to enhance your body’s natural production of GLP-1. The gut hormone helps regulate blood sugar and signals satiety, all key for healthy metabolism and weight management.

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A healthier gut doesn’t just support metabolism—it’s also linked to better mood regulation and brain function, which can help reduce feelings of loneliness and encourage you to engage more socially.

4. Start a “Meal Meetup” Tradition

Eating with others isn’t just more fun—it’s biologically better for you. Shared meals are linked to improved digestion, slower eating (which enhances satiety cues), and stronger relationships. Whether it’s a standing Sunday dinner with friends or extended family dinners at home, committing to regular social meals can help regulate your hunger hormones and support a more balanced metabolism.

5. Say Yes More Often (Even When It’s Out of Your Comfort Zone)

Social momentum is real. The more you say yes to low-pressure social invites—coffee dates, outdoor movies, local events—the more natural socializing feels. Each positive experience helps retrain your brain to associate socializing with pleasure rather than stress.

Not only does this lower stress hormones like cortisol, it also boosts oxytocin and dopamine, two feel-good chemicals that also help regulate your appetite and cravings.

Social health is metabolic health. By prioritizing connection—especially through movement, meals, and shared routines—you can naturally support your metabolism and feel more vibrant all around. And with a little help from scientifically backed supplements like HUM Nutrition’s GLP-1 Booster and amino acid formulas, you’ll be better equipped to make this your most connected, energetic summer yet.

Because feeling good isn’t just about what’s on your plate—it’s also about who’s at the table with you.

FAQs

Can being lonely really slow down my metabolism?

Yes. Chronic loneliness can increase stress hormone levels, which impact everything from insulin sensitivity to fat storage. It can also lead to unhealthy habits like overeating, poor sleep, and inactivity.

I’m introverted—can I still benefit from socializing?

Absolutely! You don’t need to be at a party every weekend to get your social time in. Investing in small, meaningful connections, whether it’s a walk with a friend, a phone call, or even volunteering, can all offer powerful metabolic and emotional benefits.

How fast will I see improvements in metabolism after becoming more socially active?

Everyone’s body is different, but people often report better sleep, increased energy, and reduced cravings within weeks of reducing loneliness and increased movement and social connection. Pairing that with supportive supplements can accelerate the benefits.

The post How Loneliness Can Harm Your Metabolic Function — And 5 Ways to Rev Up Your Social Life and Metabolism This Summer and Beyond appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

A soft girl reset is all about stepping back from the chaos, slowing down, and embracing a more intentional, gentle way of living. In a world that constantly pushes us to do more, it’s easy to forget to simply exist without rushing. Instead of striving for perfection and keeping up with the hustle, a soft girl reset encourages you to step back, live in the moment, and nourish both your mind and body with meaningful self-care. Think cozy nights in, indulgent skincare rituals, mindful movement, and comforting, nourishing meals. It’s not about doing more- it’s about romanticizing your everyday life, creating space for rest, and prioritizing the little luxuries that make you feel your best.

Creating Your Own Soft Girl Reset

Embracing your soft girl reset is a routine that is unique to you and your body. Whether you want to refresh your routine, add more cozy moments, or prioritize your well-being, crafting your own reset allows you to design a lifestyle that feels soft, nourishing, and perfectly suited to you. Here are some tips to help you create your own soft girl reset.

Define Your Soft Girl Era

Before diving into your soft girl era, take a moment to define what this reset means for you. Soft girl wellness isn’t about following a rigid set of rules—it’s about curating a lifestyle that nurtures your mind, body, and soul. Start by reflecting on what areas of your life need a reset. Do you crave a morning detox routine, a more intentional skincare routine, or peaceful moments of self-reflection? Taking notes of your thoughts can help you clarify your vision and pinpoint small, meaningful changes. Setting a few gentle intentions will make this shift feel natural and aligned with your personal needs.

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Keep It Natural and Simple

The key to a successful soft girl reset is ease. Rather than overwhelming yourself with drastic changes, focus on small, effortless adjustments that enhance your daily routine. Swap your morning coffee for a soothing tea, take a short evening walk instead of scrolling on your phone, or spend a few minutes stretching before bed. The goal is to make wellness feel like a seamless part of your life rather than a checklist of tasks. When habits flow naturally, they become sustainable, making it easier to maintain a soft, peaceful lifestyle.

Prioritize Skincare and Pampering

Soft girl wellness is about embracing self-care in a way that feels luxurious yet simple. Skincare isn’t just about achieving glowing skin—it’s an opportunity to slow down and enjoy the moment. Treat your routine like a ritual by lighting a candle, playing soft music, and savoring each step. Indulge in hydrating masks, soothing serums, and body care products that make you feel pampered. Staying hydrated is just as important in your skincare routine, so drink water infused with lemon, mint, or berries for an extra touch of beauty and self-love. Elevating your skincare routine, even in small ways, can transform it into a deeply relaxing experience.

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Indulge in Cozy Self-Care Activities

Soft girl wellness is rooted in slowing down and embracing moments of joy. Make time for cozy, comforting activities that nourish your soul, such as journaling, reading, painting, or listening to music. Engaging in creative outlets allows you to express yourself while fostering a sense of peace. Romanticize simple moments—like sipping tea while wrapped in a blanket, watching the sunset, or practicing meditation. By prioritizing these soft, enjoyable activities, you create space for emotional well-being and inner calm.

Enjoy Simple, Comforting Meals and Nourish Your Body with Wholesome Foods

The soft girl approach to food is about nourishment and pleasure, not restriction. Prioritize meals that are both wholesome and aesthetically pleasing, like smoothie bowls with vibrant fruit, colorful salads, and warm, comforting soups. Hydration is essential, and making your drinks visually appealing—such as a frothy matcha latte, a nutrient-packed wellness shot, or a glass of lemon-infused water—can turn a habit into an indulgent ritual. Eating is an act of self-care, so take your time, savor each bite, and choose foods that fuel your body while also bringing you comfort.

While indulgence is an essential part of a soft girl reset, sometimes your favorite foods can leave you feeling bloated or sluggish. That’s where HUM’s Flatter Me comes in. The digestive supplement uses 18 digestive enzymes to help your body break down food more efficiently, so you can enjoy your favorite comfort meals without discomfort. Whether you’re indulging in a cozy pasta night or a decadent dessert, Flatter Me ensures your body stays balanced and happy.

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Change Your Scenery

A fresh environment can do wonders for your mindset. Your space should feel like a sanctuary, so take time to declutter, rearrange, or add soft, cozy elements that make you feel at peace. Think fairy lights, plush blankets, fresh flowers, and candles with gentle scents like vanilla or lavender. Even something as simple as natural light and fresh air can uplift your mood. So, open your windows, step outside for a walk, or spend some time out in nature. Whether it’s a tidy space or a quiet outdoor moment, changing your surroundings can help you feel more refreshed and centered.

Create a Fitness Routine That Makes Your Body Feel Good

Movement is another act of self-love, not a forced punishment that many add to their to-do list to stay healthy. Instead of high-intensity workouts that leave you feeling drained, opt for exercises that feel gentle and enjoyable on the body. Pilates, yoga, barre, or nature walks all align with the soft girl aesthetic, promoting both strength and relaxation to the body. Set the mood by playing soft music to help your workout feel more relaxed. The goal is to move in ways that nourish your body, leaving you feeling energized and at peace rather than exhausted.

FAQs About Soft Girl Wellness

Do I need to give up my usual wellness habits for a soft girl reset?

Not at all! A soft girl reset is about balance. You can still maintain your healthy habits but with a gentler, more intuitive approach. Your soft girl reset should be treated as a refresh when you feel your body and routine need it.

How often should I do a soft girl reset?

Soft girl resets are there to do as often as you need. Some people like to reset weekly, while others incorporate soft girl elements into their daily routines.

Can a soft girl reset help with stress and burnout?

Yes! A soft girl reset is all about slowing down and prioritizing well-being, which can be incredibly helpful in managing stress. The goal is to restore your energy rather than push through exhaustion.

The Takeaway on Health and Wellness in Your Soft Girl Reset

Wellness shouldn’t feel like a chore—it should feel like self-love. A soft girl reset allows you to slow down, honor your body, and find joy in simple pleasures. Whether indulging in a skincare ritual, sipping a warm tea, or taking a mindful walk, this is your time to nurture yourself in a natural and enjoyable way. So go ahead, step into your soft girl era, and make wellness something you actually look forward to!

The post Soft Girl Reset: Embracing Health and Wellness at a More Relaxed Pace appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

After all, when a serious relationship comes to an end, it often feels like you have to start all over; like you have to relearn life without them and the people and things that were an extension of them. This is all part of the post-relationship grieving process—and it’s totally normal. The important thing is to give yourself grace and cultivate self-love as much as possible as you navigate the experience. 

“Breakups are a loss, so when a relationship ends you experience grief—and not just grief for the person you lost, but the idea of a future you might have had with them, potentially close relationships with friends and family members that were established through the relationship, and loss of a part of your identity that was defined by being a partner,” explains Licensed Mental Health Counselor Beth Gulotta, who is the founder and owner of NYC Therapeutic Wellness. “There are so many layers of loss when you end a relationship.  And while it might be the best decision for you and what feels right, it is still painful.”

Because of this, it helps to have a post-breakup toolkit of sorts. To equip you with just that, we chatted with Gulotta and NYC-based sex, relationships, and mental health therapist, Rachel Wright, about how to get over a breakup. Ahead, uncover their top tips and find ways to rely on, nurture, and love yourself through this next season of life.

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Acknowledging and Validating Emotions

Breakups—whether anticipated or sprung on—are often met with a flood of emotions. 

“If it is the right decision, there can be a sense of relief, of empowerment, but at the same time there can be deep sadness, confusion, shame, and anger; it depends on how the relationship ended and why,” Gulotta says. Where more amicable, mature breakups can sometimes feel easier to navigate—especially if they’re mutual—those that are the result of infidelity or another type of betrayal can feel more heartbreaking, particularly if it’s a one-sided breakup.  

No matter which type of breakup you have, though, Wright emphasizes that no two endings are identical, and thus the healing process isn’t linear. Instead, she says that it’s normal to leap around the five stages of grief and then some. 

“One of the myths around the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—is that they have an order, and once we’re through one, we don’t go back to it,” Wright says. “That’s not true. They don’t go in order, and we can jump around. You may even feel something not on this list first (like relief or pride) or even start with depression. You may never be in denial about it, or the denial could be pre-breakup.” She says this to emphasize the point that there’s no such thing as a “normal” approach to getting over a breakup. “You’re going to feel how you feel, and it’s up to you to get curious and compassionate with yourself to soothe and move through these complicated emotions,” she empathizes.

The first step of moving through your emotions, though, is acknowledging and validating them to begin with. “Holding space for all the emotions and not judging what comes up for you is important for healing after a breakup,” Gulotta assures us.

With this in mind, you may want to take up a journaling practice to write what you feel, which can help you reflect on and learn from the experience. “Journaling is a great tool to process and reflect on the breakup, to start to process the grief of the vision you had, and start to embrace the new vision that is forming,” Gulotta says. “It is a great place to put and process all the emotions that will come up when you are navigating a breakup.” In addition to providing yourself with hard evidence of your post-breakup journey, journaling can also serve as an outlet for thoughts and feelings you wish you could say to your ex but choose not to. (Need a journal? We love the beautiful Hardback Notebooks from Papier, $30.)

Establishing Boundaries and Seeking Support

Following a breakup, it’s important to set boundaries—with your ex, as well as your support system. Again, there’s no one right way to go about this. If you had an amicable split, you may want to remain friends with your ex. If that’s the case, perhaps you’ll want to create a boundary not to discuss intimate details of your past, nor those of your own in the future. 

“I think this is a personal decision on what boundaries feel healthy and healing for each person,” Gulotta says. “I tend to think that initially having little to no contact is helpful to heal and process and sort through what life looks like and who you are without this relationship and partner.”

Meanwhile, if your family and friends are eager to support you but are doing so by bashing your ex, you may want to create a boundary to not discuss them at all so as to not constantly be sucked back into the turmoil that triggered your split in the first place. If you find yourself in this situation, or if you simply crave an unbiased opinion, you may also want to consider talking with a therapist who specializes in relationships.  

All in all, the best way to approach this post-breakup chapter is by prioritizing communication. “Some people choose to have a no-contact period (30, 60, 90 days) and then re-connect to decide how they want to proceed from there; some people can’t do that because they’re co-parenting or dealing with logistics, so they agree only to talk when it comes to logistical stuff and save emotional stuff for therapy or after 90 days,” Wright says. “You have to get really self-aware and ask yourself what you need and ask for it.”

For more advice on setting boundaries, check out episode 62 of Wright’s podcast, The Wright Conversations: A Conversation About Boundaries (& How They Can Change Over Time) with John Romaniello.

Practicing Self-Care and Prioritizing Mental Health

Arguably the best way to navigate a breakup is to turn your attention inward, focusing on all the ways you can pour the love you once shared with your partner into yourself. This manifests in self-care and self-love, which can boost self-confidence and self-esteem, and benefit your mental health overall. 

While journaling can serve as a powerful self-care practice, exercising, meditating, traveling, eating well, dressing to please yourself, spending time offline, hanging out with trusted loved ones, going on nature walks, allowing yourself to cry, and getting plenty of sleep are other self-care methods that can help ameliorate the post-breakup experience. So can reconnecting with personal interests, hobbies, and passions—key components of your identity—that you may have neglected while in the relationship, so long as they’re not destructive. 

The point is, there are many, many ways to tap into self-care. “Almost all self-care practices can help support you during the post-breakup experience—it’s just a matter of figuring out what you need and making sure you’re hitting all areas of self-care,” Wright says, noting that self-care can be categorized as physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and professional, which she outlines in her workshop, Self-Love 101: Mastering the Art of Loving You (So You Can Have the Life You Want!). 

To fully submerge yourself in self-care post-breakup, Gulotta suggests taking a solo trip. “I am a huge advocate and fan of solo travel and encourage my clients to have this experience at least once, whether they are going through a breakup or not,” she reveals. “There is something about solo travel that brings out empowerment or sense of confidence like no other experience. You get to be fully with yourself and have full control over each day and you get to make choices truly about what you want to do and what you need.”

Reframing Negative Thoughts and Practicing Self-Compassion

As you navigate your breakup and all the emotions that surround it, you may feel overwhelmed by negative self-talk. While easier said than done, we encourage you to lean into self-compassion instead. To do so, consider starting each day with positive affirmations in the mirror and/or gratitude. 

“Start each day saying five positive and empowering things about yourself—it will get your mindset in a healthier place as you start your day,” Gulotta says.

While looking in the mirror and talking to yourself may feel hokey, motivational speaker Mel Robbins, who inspires millions of followers every day, is such a big believer of the practice that she went so far as to publish her best-selling book, The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit. 

Meanwhile, if you plan to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine, make it a ritual with a beautiful notebook.

Another helpful tip? If negative self-talk feels incessant, ask yourself this: Would you say these things about your best friends—the people you love most in this world? No? Then don’t talk about yourself that way, either. Rather, stop and notice something you love (or even like) about yourself and take time to acknowledge and honor it until it becomes second nature to embrace every part of yourself. 

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Cultivating Self-Love and Building Confidence

At the end of the day, prioritizing self-care and re-embracing your passions will put you on a faster track toward healing following a breakup—and it will bolster your sense of self-love, which is paramount for healthy relationships in the future. As you navigate this painful experience, be sure to maintain perspective. 

“There isn’t a guidebook for the right way to do a break-up which can make it very difficult,” Wright admits. “We love guidelines as humans, and just like every relationship is unique, every breakup is unique.” With this in mind, she says to give yourself grace as you process this painful experience and make room for a beautiful, fulfilling future ahead.  

The post How To Survive a Breakup and Cultivate Self-Love appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

Emotions are some of the body’s most prominent messengers. And, although they serve an important purpose and can be incredibly helpful, they can sometimes get trapped, leading to an array of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns that can wreak havoc on our daily lives. “When you have an intensely difficult experience, the emotions you feel should fade with time, but sometimes they’re just too much for you to handle and your body may hold onto those negative energies in the form of what many call ‘emotional baggage,’” says Dr. Bradley Nelson, a veteran holistic physician, bestselling author, and creator of the Emotion Code technique. According to Dr. Nelson, the negative energies we carry from these experiences are called trapped emotions, which can be released through his Emotion Code technique as well as everyday practices, such as mindfulness, expression, connection and more. 

What Is The Emotion Code? 

The Emotion Code is an energy-based technique that is centered around the notion that emotions are made from energy and each has its own frequencies — which is what you really feel when you feel emotions — and focused on releasing trapped emotions (aka, trapped low-frequency energy), which is known to create physical, mental, and emotional distress, and lead to pain and discomfort that disrupts daily life. With guidance from Dr. Nelson’s book, The Emotion Code: How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love, and Happiness, you can learn to let go of trapped emotions which, “can enable emotional healing and help you feel better after enduring traumatic or difficult emotional experiences, even if they happened many years ago,” he explains.  

As humans, we experience emotions constantly. And, while we are most often able to feel the emotion, process it, and move on, some emotions linger and get trapped, especially if the energy of the emotion feels too intense. These emotions often lead to physical, mental, and energetic imbalances caused by low frequencies that accompany certain emotions such as anger, sadness, grief, and frustration. The Emotion Code teaches you how to identify trapped emotions (including, whether they come from yourself or were inherited by a parent). Once the trapped emotions are known, the method focuses on releasing each emotion, one by one, through a method that involves using sway testing based on the technique’s Emotion Code Chart and swiping a magnet across the body’s Governing Meridian, which starts at the lips, runs up the nose, over the center of the forehead, back of the head, and all the way down to the tailbone. 

The Consequences of Trapped Emotions 

Trapped emotions can manifest in a variety of ways and affect your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This is particularly true for some common mental health concerns, including resentment, anxiety, depression, anger, and even lack of clarity, says Jacqueline Gilmer, MS, LPC-S, LCDC, the Clinical Director at Recovery Unplugged, located in Austin, TX. 

• Resentment: When we are unable to identify and address emotions, Gilmer says we might begin to feel resentment, whether that be toward a person or a situation that triggered those feelings. “This can lead us to behave in ways that are not constructive or beneficial to ourselves or others,” she explains. 

• Anxiety: Feeling anxious is another common side effect of trapped emotions, and Gilmer says this can even lead to the physical symptoms associated with anxiety, “such as difficulty sleeping, headaches, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and muscle tension,” in addition to feelings of panic and fear, which interfere with daily functioning. 

• Depression: “Unresolved emotional issues may contribute to depression by leaving you feeling overwhelmed and powerless,” Gilmer explains. Feeling overwhelmed and powerless are negative emotions that Gilmer says can over time create a cycle of despair, which can be difficult to break without professional help.

• Anger: Suppressing emotions through anger is a common way for people to express emotions, but this can manifest in outbursts of rage or aggression. Gilmer says this type of side effect of trapped emotions is not only damaging to relationships but can also have long-term health consequences, which include anxiety, high blood pressure, and headaches. 

The mental and emotional side effects of trapped emotions aren’t the only things that can impair our health. In addition to these consequences, “trapped emotions may manifest as physical symptoms of anxiety, such as difficulty sleeping, headaches, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and muscle tension,” Gilmer explains. Amira Martin, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist based in New York City, says trapped emotions can also result in stomach issues since the gastrointestinal tract is sensitive to emotion, and symptoms such as heartburn, cramps, and loose stools are common signs of stress in the gut. 

How to Release Trapped Emotions, Following The Emotion Code Technique 

The Sway Test

Through The Emotion Code technique, you can not only identify the trapped emotion but also release it through a simple at-home energetic method. To start, identify an issue you are experiencing — it could be physical such as a headache, or mental like anxiety. Once you know what issue you want to focus on, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart with your hands by your side for the sway test. To conduct a sway test, take a deep breath and try to relax the body, entering a more meditative state. Ask yourself: “Do I have a trapped emotion that can be released now that is contributing to my [insert issue here]?” Give your body a moment and notice whether you sway forward or backward. If you sway forward, the answer is yes. If you sway backward, the answer is no and Dr. Nelson recommends focusing on a different issue and trying again. 

Check The Chart

Next, take a look at the Emotion Code Chart, which is separated into six rows and two columns. Through another few sway tests and the guidance of this chart, you can identify what the trapped emotion is. Begin by standing still with your arms by your sides and your feet shoulder-width apart. Enter that relaxed and meditative state again and then ask yourself if the trapped emotion is in column A. If your body sways forward, the answer is yes and the trapped emotion is one of those listed in column A. If your body sways backward, the answer is no, and the trapped emotion is one of those listed in column B. To narrow it down further, you’ll next focus on the rows. Begin by asking yourself if the trapped emotion is in one of the odd rows (aka, rows one, three, or five). Should you sway forward, the answer is yes and you can then ask if the trapped emotion is in each specific odd row. If you sway backward, the answer is no and you can move forward with the even rows, asking if the emotion is in each even row until the body sways forward, indicating a “yes.” Once you know what column and row the emotion is in, you’re left with just five emotions. Following the sway test again, spend time asking if your trapped emotion is each emotion. Once you sway forward, you’ll know which emotion is trapped. 

The Magnet Test

When you know what the trapped emotion is, it’s time to release it. According to The Emotion Code method, this involves swiping a magnet — a refrigerator magnet will work — or your fingertips along the Governing Meridian. Begin by passing over the lips, up the nose, and across the center of the forehead. Then, run the magnet or your fingertips across the top and back of the head and down the neck, until you reach your tailbone. According to Dr. Nelson’s method, this will release the trapped emotion, however, you’ll want to find out for sure. To find out whether or not the emotion has been released, conduct one more sway test and ask if you released the trapped emotion. If you sway forward, the subconscious mind is indicating that the answer is yes. 

Other Methods for Releasing Trapped Emotions 

In addition to The Emotion Code, there are other methods for releasing trapped emotions or low-frequency energies to gain a sense of relief physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Identify and Expression Your Emotions

A key part of the Emotion Code technique is learning to identify your trapped emotions, and Gilmer says this is an excellent way to begin healing. “Take time to sit with yourself and observe any physical sensations or feelings that arise within you,” she explains, adding that it helps to ask yourself what those emotions are telling you and to be honest about the thoughts and emotions that come up without judgment. “Once you have identified them, it can help to talk to a trusted friend or write down your experiences in a journal so that they do not remain trapped inside of you.”

Move Emotion Through Breathwork

Mindful breathing through breathwork practices can also help you release trapped emotions. “Take several deep breaths into your belly and focus on allowing each breath to pass through your body, releasing tension as you exhale,” Gilmer says. “This practice can help to shift negative energy away from the body so that it is easier for us to process our emotions constructively.” 

Practice Mindfulness

According to Dr. Nelson, mindfulness means that you’re fully present and conscious in the moment, which can have a profound impact on releasing emotion. “Research has found that people who practice mindfulness can have deeper relationships and enjoy life more,” Dr. Nelson explains. To boost your emotional health, he recommends trying a meditation practice, spending more time in nature, or simply putting your phone down while interacting with family or friends. “Focus on being truly present and involved in whatever is in front of you right now, and notice how much richer your experience of that situation becomes.” 

Deepen Relationships

Having people in your life that you can count on can also work wonders for emotional health, says Dr. Nelson. “While being content alone is important too, knowing you can call someone up when you’re having a bad day or share your successes with someone else can be really beneficial for your mental health,” he explains.

Work With a Therapist

“One of the most effective ways to release trapped emotions is through therapy,” says Martin. Therapy is an excellent and safe place for individuals to explore and process their emotions in a supportive environment. “Therapists can also teach coping skills and provide tools for managing difficult emotions,” Martin adds. Dr. Nelson also recommends seeking professional help, especially if you find it challenging to convey your emotions and need guidance on how to express your feelings. 

The post <strong>Decoding Emotions: How Trapped Emotions Can Hold You Back (And What to Do About It)</strong> appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

Sure, you may fancy yourself to be a wellness warrior if you stick to a well-rounded diet, clock in regular sweat sessions, and get eight-plus hours of shuteye a night. But when was the last time you checked in on the state of your financial well-being—not only in terms of how much you earn and save, but also how you think and feel about money?

“Just like prioritizing care of your body and your mind, incorporating more financial self-care into your daily or weekly routine can be really great for your overall well-being,” says Megan Ford, PhD, LMFT, CFT-ITM, a financial therapist at Stackin.

Keep reading to learn about the basics of financial wellness, followed by actionable tips to achieve it.

What Is Financial Wellness?

Since money is highly personal and multidimensional, Dr. Ford says that nailing down a one-size-fits-all definition of financial wellness can be tough. However, she shares three key components that can lay down the framework of financial well-being:

1. Having a solid grasp of your financial landscape (being aware of what you earn, spend, save, and invest)
2. Being clear about your financial goals and taking intentional steps to achieve them
3. Having a healthy money mindset (releasing shame, unlearning unhealthy patterns of thought around money, being growth-oriented)

Sara Willi, a level 2 trainer at the Financial Gym, has a similar take on what financial wellness entails. “It’s another component of our overall health along with physical, emotional, and mental well-being,” she explains. “Being financially healthy means facing the numbers, thinking through our goals, and making a plan to live our best lives accordingly.”

She emphasizes valuing progress over perfection, as well as striking a balance between enjoying your life in the present while growing your net worth—via saving and investing—to set up a secure and comfortable future. Strong financial health, she continues, “means we can weather the storms that will inevitably come up, leave situations that aren’t right for us, and have alignment with our values and how we spend our money.”

It’s also worth noting that financial wellness will always be a work in progress. “There is no financial wellness nirvana,” says Dr. Ford. “This is an evolving state in our lives through the ever-present ups and downs.”

10 Must-Know Financial Wellness Tips

Financial wellness requires a mix of getting your mind right about money and employing smart strategies to protect and build your wealth. Follow these expert-approved tips to enhance all aspects of your financial well-being—no matter your age or income.

1. Tune into Your Emotions Around Money

According to Dr. Ford, one of the biggest myths around financial wellness is that your emotions don’t matter. “Nearly 90 percent of our financial decision-making is driven by our emotions,” she clarifies, so logic will only get you so far.

She advises being aware of how you feel when making financial decisions. “Are you sad, stressed, exhilarated, or something else? It’s not about changing the feelings. It’s about noticing them and taking a few moments to reflect with curiosity—and recalibrating whenever possible,” Dr. Ford continues. “Gaining more insight into how our feelings influence our financial choices can be empowering.”

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2. Prioritize Financial Wellness Sooner Than Later

Another myth that Dr. Ford comes across is the notion that younger adults don’t need to worry about financial wellness just yet—or, similarly, that you can only begin to take action once you reach a certain income bracket. “How long you have to save and invest over time definitely matters,” she explains. “Making moves to save or start investing early can pay off down the line because of the longer timeframe those assets have for growth potential.”

With that in mind, take steps early and consistently—no matter how big or small—to promote financial well-being in the long run.

3. Ask Yourself If You’re Earning Your Worth

Your own state of financial wellness will naturally, in part, depend on how much money you’re making. That said, Willi advises making sure you’re earning as much as you’re actually worth. “Sometimes people aren’t necessarily mismanaging their money,” she explains. They just don’t make as much as they could (or should), but they can take steps to stand up for themselves to demonstrate why they deserve better pay.

She recommends reflecting on your income with the following questions:

• Are you getting paid equitably for what you do?
• Have you done salary research to ensure that’s the case?
• Are you able to ask for a raise?

Willi reminds us that some demographics—including women and members of the BIPOC community—often earn less than white male colleagues. “While it is not fair that you need to do this [extra work], it’s essential for you to do your research and advocate for yourself,” she shares.

4. Gain Clarity on Your Present Financial Situation

Before you can start to make progress on your goals, you need to have a clear picture of what your financial situation looks like right now. Willi shares the following steps so you can see how much you’re earning and spending on a monthly basis, which can inform a new roadmap to improve your financial standing:

• Create a list with two columns. The first should have your net monthly income (how much you earn after taxes and deductions) and the second should include fixed and variable expenses. Willi says the former includes housing, insurance, utilities, and co-pays, while the latter includes things like groceries, transportation, personal care, retail and entertainment. If needed, “Look back at your past checking account or credit card statements to see some trends,” she advises.
• Add your expenses to see your monthly run rate. “Now take your income minus your combined expenses, and see what is leftover for your goals: saving, investing, and paying down debt,” she shares.

5. Keep Your Impulse Buys in Check

Certain behaviors—like making impulsive purchases and spending beyond your means—can stand in the way of achieving financial wellness. If this sounds familiar, Dr. Ford suggests “tricking yourself” to avoid defaulting to patterns that won’t serve you. “Put some distance between you and the purchase in order to delay gratification, which will give your brain time to reset and behave less impulsively,” she advises.

A few of her favorite hacks to put this financial wellness tip into practice include:

• Removing your credit card information on apps and websites where you’re most likely to spend
• Waiting a few days before proceeding with an impulse buy
• Creating a shopping wish list and consulting it before making a purchase

“Most often, people find that these strategies help them to ‘hack’ their wiring,” she explains. “Upon reflection, they didn’t really want most of what ends up in the cart or on the list.” Once you get into the groove of saving funds from reining in your spending, you’re bound to feel empowered by your progress and motivated to stay the course.

“Don’t forget to acknowledge yourself for the little things and minor behaviors that keep you on track each and every day,” Dr. Ford continues. “Small contributions truly add up, but it often takes a perspective shift and some tracking to fully recognize it.”

6. Set Aside an Emergency Fund

Willi says that everyone should prioritize setting up an emergency fund—covering at least three months of your fixed and variable expenses—before addressing other major financial goals. “Keep this in a high-yield savings account and only touch that money in case of a true emergency” she advises. On a similar note, she recommends making sure that you have appropriate insurance (renter’s, health, life, disability, etc.) to protect yourself.

7. Clearly Define Your Financial Goals

Recognizing your values and being super specific about your goals are crucial. “Goals are best accomplished when they’re values-based and detailed,” Dr. Ford explains. Decide what you want to save for and unpack the “why” behind it to best set yourself up for success.

She offers the following example as a template: I want to begin saving $100 a month in a high-yield savings account for a down payment on my future home because his goal will help me meet my values of freedom, responsibility, and security. “Substitute words and phrases for your own goals, but make sure you have detailed out the amount, the type of account, and the associated values,” she shares.

Willi adds that you need to determine what goals are right for you. They shouldn’t be based on what your friends, family, or society deem you “should” have or where you “should” be, but rather what success looks like from your own POV.

8. Streamline Your Savings

Piggybacking off the financial wellness tip above, Dr. Ford invites us to reorient our thinking and strategies around saving. Heed her advice as follows:

• Treat savings goals like a monthly expense, thinking of it as paying your “savings bill”
• Automate your savings so they directly funnel to your goals outlined above
• Save somewhere around 15 to 20 percent of your monthly income, adjusting based on the immediacy of your goals and personal circumstances

“When you’re just starting out, it is really about establishing the habit and getting into the routine of saving over how much, so maybe that [will look like saving] 5 or 10 percent,” Dr. Ford explains. “The most important thing is just to start and be consistent.”

9. Grow Your Wealth Through Investments

Once you break ground on the preceding steps, Willi advises investing in low-cost index funds ASAP. “The first step is to get up to any match offered by your employer, then think through the other ways you want to invest,” she shares. Some options include:

• Increasing your 401k
• Opening up a Roth IRA
• Starting a taxable brokerage account

Again, it’ll pay to get started sooner than later—even if it means investing as little as $25 per month, Willi notes.

10. Don’t Forget to Enjoy Your Life

Although it’s important to be responsible with your money, remember that security and building wealth aren’t the only aspects of financial wellness—especially if they come at the cost of enjoying your life at present. “We’re not just here to make money, pay the bills, and die,” Willi reminds us. That said, she highly suggests making room in your budget for things that bring you joy.

“In addition to building your emergency fund, you should save for goals like travel in separate savings buckets so you can put money aside to do those things without guilt,” she continues. Moreover, she says that you can ignore the advice to cut back on your daily latte order—or whichever small-ish expense of your choosing—if it truly makes you happy.

“There is only so much we can cut from our budget, and being too restrictive is likely not sustainable for the long haul,” Willi says. (Bigger-ticket items—like housing and transportation—are much more influential on the state of your finances, so she advises keeping tabs on those first and foremost.)

The post 10 Foolproof Ways to Boost Financial Wellness, No Matter Your Age or Income appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

If you’ve scrolled through TikTok or Instagram lately, you’ve likely come across countless sources of dating advice to secure a partner. Where therapists like Jeff Guenther (aka Therapy Jeff) share immensely insightful relationship tips based in psychology, other popular TikTokers—like Sabrina Zohar and Nicole Fay—reveal hard truths and helpful tidbits they’ve picked up from simply living and experiencing life in and out of love.

Then there are the sexologists—like Shan Boodram and Carlen Costa—who promote the vabbing trend (aka the process of rubbing vaginal fluids on pulse points in an attempt to diffuse pheromones), prompting women all over the world to try to nab a date by swabbing their nethers beforehand. (News flash: Despite the popularity and clickbait nature of vabbing, most doctors, including board-certified dermatologist Dr. Adeline Kikam, don’t recommend it, nor do any studies prove it.)

The point is, if you want to learn how to be a more desirable partner (or potential partner), social media can be a wealth of knowledge. However, it can also be a well of unfounded advice that could send your mind swirling down a rabbit hole. Since trying to sort through what’s fact and what’s fiction can be challenging, we’re here to share 10 things that make you more attractive to others, according to legitimate science. So close out of your social media apps, take a deep breath, and keep reading to learn more.

How to Be More Attractive: 10 Tips Backed by Science

1. Pose in Group Photos

Since dating apps remain incredibly popular in 2023, this fun fact might just make your swiping experience a whole lot merrier. While you might think that only posting photos of yourself in the form of selfies and full-body shots will give your potential match the best possible idea of your physical attractiveness, research shows that posing in group photos is actually very beneficial. According to a 2013 study published in Psychological Science: A Journal of the Association for Psychological Science, researchers found that “individual faces will seem more attractive when presented in a group because they will appear more similar to the average group face, which is more attractive than group members’ individual faces.” They dubbed this “the cheerleader effect.”

This can go both ways, though. According to a 2014 study published in The Leadership Quarterly, researchers highlighted the “importance of group membership as a lens for perceiving familiar leaders’ physical attractiveness.” In layman’s terms, the people (and ideals) you surround yourself with can impact how attractive others perceive you to be. 

2. Smile and Have a Sense of Humor

Ask any woman how she feels about being told to smile more and she’s likely to let out an exasperated sigh. That said, there’s science behind the commentary. According to a 2012 study published in Cognition and Emotion, researchers found “that the evaluation of attractiveness is strongly influenced by the intensity of a smile expressed on a face: A happy facial expression could even compensate for relative unattractiveness.”

Having a sense of humor is another tip vetted by the science of attraction. (Who doesn’t love to laugh, right?) In a 2010 study published in Psychological Reports, researcher Nicolas Guéguen found that when women overheard funny jokes coming from a group of men, they found the man telling the jokes to be the most attractive.

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3. Play Hard to Get

We hate the idea of having to play games to be considered attractive just as much as the next person, but science actually does back it up. According to a 2020 study published by the University of Rochester in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, “A person who is perceived as hard to get is associated with a greater mate value.” But there’s a caveat. While the modern-day approach to playing hard to get often centers around the concept of being a “fu*kboy,” study co-author Harry Reis says that’s not the case. “If playing hard to get makes you seem disinterested or arrogant, it will backfire,” he assures readers.

4. Be Transparent While Dating Online

While playing hard to get and taking a bit longer to confirm a date might heighten interest, according to a 2018 study published in Computers in Human Behavior, being upfront about your intentions and how you feel while online dating is best. By contrast, the researchers found that being vague about relationship and romantic intentions—and seeming uninterested in the process—actually had detrimental effects on a person’s overall appeal. In other words, while playing hard to get might work when you’ve already met someone in person, when dating online, it’s best to be forthcoming.

5. Be Open, Honest, and Kind

Being honest and upfront isn’t only helpful on dating apps. According to a 2007 study published in Personal Relationships, researchers found that men and women who exude positive traits like honesty and kindness were perceived to be more attractive than those who expressed negative traits, such as rudeness and unfairness. 

Tapping into this, NYC-based sex, relationships, and mental health therapist Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT, says that being open and honest about what you want in a kind way is essential for creating an enduring bond. “Be descriptive of who you are and what you want,” she suggests. “Openness and honesty are incredibly attractive qualities for someone looking for a partner. People can sense when you’re being cagey or not sharing your true self.” Not sure how to dive right into online dating (or dating IRL) with this approach? Wright’s recommendation: Be blunt.

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6. Pay Attention to Your Voice

While you can’t change your voice, it is possible to adjust your tone and pitch. And, according to a 2013 study, doing so can make you more attractive. Where researchers found that men preferred a higher-pitch female voice (said to signal a smaller body size), women preferred a lower pitch (which signals a larger body size). Both men and women also found that breathiness played into perceptions of attractiveness. For women, specifically, a breathier male voice made men with large bodies seem less aggressive and more approachable—not to mention more attractive.

7. Be Altruistic

There’s this notion that doing good makes you feel good, but it’s also scientifically proven that doing good makes you look better to others, too. According to a 2020 article published in Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Quarterly, authors found that those who are more giving come across as more physically attractive, and that those who are more physically attractive are more likely to be giving.

8. Flex Your Status As a Pet Parent

There’s a meme going around that says dogs are the new children and plants are the new pets. According to science, there’s something to be said about the correlation between pups and kids. A 2013 article in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology found that men with dogs were thought to be more attractive mates because their ability to care for and nurture their furry friend implied that they were (or could be) committed. 

9. Know How to Hold a Conversation

There’s a reason why so many people drone on about Bumble matches who don’t know how to say more than “hi” or talk about the weather: Small talk is boring, and it doesn’t tell you anything of substance about your match. According to a 2016 research article published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, authors found that people were more likely to want to engage with people after engaging in more self-disclosure, as opposed to simply rattling off small talk.

10. Be Confident

A bit of confidence goes a long way, according to the science of attraction. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Personality found that the more self-confident a man was, the more attractive they were considered to be. Of course, the same goes for yourself. One of the most important things to remember while dating is to be self-assured, Wright says. “Even though a screen, we’re attracted to people who feel comfortable and confident in their own skin—who own who they are.” Full stop.

The post 10 Things That Make You More Attractive to Others, According to Science appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.

Anxiety is the worst. Your mind is racing, your heart feels like it’s going to pound right out of your chest, and you just cannot calm down. We’ve all been there, and we’d do anything to get rid of that feeling—and, ideally, get rid of it fast. According to promising new research and thousands of TikTok videos, vagus nerve exercises may be the key to feeling better within seconds.

Never heard of vagus nerve stimulation? If you’ve seen videos of people dunking their faces in bowls of ice-cold water to de-stress, that’s what you’re watching. This TikTok hack supposedly calms you down by activating the body’s vagus nerve, a super important nerve that extends from your brain to your belly and affects a whole host of bodily functions. Proponents say it can also boost your mood and even combat depression, and a cold-water dunk is just one way to get it going.

But can vagal nerve stimulation really improve mental health? Or is this just a case of a TikTok fad combined with wishful thinking? We took a closer look into what the science says about vagus nerve exercises.

What is the Vagus Nerve?

The vagus nerve, also called the 10th cranial nerve, is the longest cranial nerve in the body. But this is a bit of a misnomer: It actually refers to two bundles of nerves, composed of thousands of nerve fibers, and it connects your brain to your gut and everything in between. If you want to trace part of its path, touch your earlobes and move your fingers down either side of your neck; it passes by your carotid artery and jugular vein. In your torso, the vagus nerve’s fibers branch out toward your organs, letting your brain know what’s going on with each of them and attempting to regulate any issues. 

Vagus Nerve and Anxiety: How it Can Help

So, what does the vagus nerve have to do with anxiety? There are a few factors involved. The vagus nerve is a major part of the gut-brain axis, a burgeoning area of research for mental health professionals. Look no further than those butterflies in your stomach or GI problems when you’re anxious for signs of this connection.

The vagus nerve is “a crucial component of your parasympathetic nervous system,” says Ashwini Nadkarni, MD, Associate Vice Chair of Wellness and Assistant Medical Director of Brigham Psychiatry Specialties at Harvard University. “[That] part of the nervous system plays a key role in ‘rest and digest,’ or a set of functions that enable us to relax after a period of stress.” In other words, it’s supposed to help us calm us down when something freaks us out. The vagus nerve also affects heart rate, digestion, breathing, the immune system, and more—all of which can affect both anxiety and depression.

But that’s only one part of this complex equation. Our body’s response to anxiety and the proper functioning of our vagus nerve also includes the release of neurotransmitters like epinephrine and norepinephrine and how they relate to trauma and stress. 

So how do you ensure your vagus nerve is in tip-top shape? Improving vagal tone can bring balance to a system that’s out of whack. 

What is Vagal Tone?

Vagal tone refers to the activity and strength of the vagus nerve. An extensive review of studies in Frontiers in Psychiatry shows just how effective healthy vagal tone may be. The vagus nerve is basically your body’s regulator, and it operates via three different pathways to fight inflammation. Plus, as noted earlier, it helps coordinate your breathing and your heart rate, so when it’s working properly, it gets both of these back down to normal levels quickly.

If you have strong vagal tone, you are able to calm down more effectively and quickly after a stressful situation. Low vagal tone means that your vagus nerve is not functioning optimally.

So, aside from your ability (or inability) to relax, how can you tell if you have high or low vagal tone? “Because of the variety of functions it regulates, vagus nerve problems can present with many symptoms,” says Dr. Nadkarni. “People may have abdominal pain or bloating or experience acid reflux, loss of appetite, nausea/vomiting, difficulty swallowing, or changes in their heart rate or blood pressure—it depends on which part of the vagus is affected.” 

Doctors can also get an idea of what your vagal tone is like by examining your heart rate. According to a study published in the journal World Psychiatry in 2021, people who don’t have much variability between heartbeats have low vagal tone—something that’s also associated with serious issues like heart failure, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Another method of assessing vagal tone involves checking your gag reflex; a weak gag reflex indicates low vagal tone.

What is Vagus Nerve Stimulation?

Vagus nerve stimulation basically entails waking up your vagus nerve with some sort of external stimuli so that a relaxation response kicks in. Depending on how you go about this, you can see results within seconds. And the more you do it, the stronger your vagal tone will become and the more your body and your brain will remember how to do this without prompting. 

When doctors talk about vagus nerve stimulation (VNS), however, they’re generally referring to interventions in a medical setting that involve an implantable device that stimulates the vagus nerve with electrical impulses. The FDA has approved the use of VNS in 1997 for epilepsy and in 2005 for treatment-resistant depression. A five-year observational study of people with severe depression published in 2017 in the American Journal of Psychiatry found a 27 percent cumulative improvement in the participants who used VNS treatments versus the “treatment-as-usual group,” as well as a nearly 18 percent remission rate.  

There are also plenty of ways to stimulate the vagus nerve using noninvasive techniques, though some experts question their validity: While these methods might elicit relaxation, are they truly stimulating the vagal nerve? More research is needed, but some medical professionals say these methods are worth trying, given the fact that there’s little risk and a whole lot of potential reward to trying vagus nerve exercises.

How to Stimulate The Vagus Nerve

As noted above, most of the research to date has focused on surgical VNS. However, the vagus nerve exercises below do have scientific reasoning and research behind them, even if they weren’t studied in controlled environments or for anxiety, per se. But try them, and you just might find yourself breathing a little easier. 

Cold Water Immersion

The cold-water face dunk is all about simulating the “diving reflex,” which slows the heart rate and constricts blood vessels, sending blood to the brain and lungs. You can also achieve this effect almost instantly by taking a cold shower or splashing your face with cold water. One recent study found that cold water on the neck, cheek, and forearm slowed participants’ heart rates and soothed stress-related symptoms, while another from 2010 showed that simply drinking cold water worked similar magic. 

Vagal Nerve Icing

This is similar to cold water immersion, but it’s more localized. Grab an ice pack (or a bag of frozen peas), lay down, and put it in the center of your chest. Yep, that’s it. The cold will stimulate your vagus nerve, which, in turn, will slow your heart rate. Some fans of this method say it’s a handy trick when you have insomnia that will send you back in dreamland in no time.

Yoga

Studies have shown that yoga can help with anxiety and depression, and some research even suggests that certain yoga practices can stimulate the vagus nerve directly. This is likely a combination of the poses, the deep breathing involved, and some of the vocalizations. (More on the vocalizations below.) Again, while breathing may or may not stimulate the vagus nerve, it can certainly help calm you down regardless.

Humming and Singing

Music soothes the savage beast, which is a pretty apt description of your brain when you’re feeling anxious. But while listening to music might calm you or take your mind off your worries, humming or singing may take things a step further by stimulating your vagus nerve. As Dr. Nadkarni notes, this has everything to do with anatomy. Your vagus nerve is connected to your vocal cords, so when you’re vibrating them by humming or singing (or chanting “om” in a yoga class), it gets your vagus nerve going. 

Vagus Nerve Massage

There are a slew of vagus nerve exercises that you can find online to help improve vagal tone, but as noted, they’re not fully vetted by scientific studies. Many involve the ears and start by using a finger to make small, gentle circles within the external folds of your ear (the concha) and the little bit (the tragus) that covers your external ear canal. From there, you can work your way down the sides of your throat with a light touch. Alternatively, you can massage your feet, stretch your soles and rotate your ankles, according to the principles of reflexology. 

Diet 

“Because of the connections between the intestine and the vagus nerve,” says Dr. Nadkarni, “good dietary choices, such as through a Mediterranean diet, can certainly promote healthy vagal tone.” After all, a low-fat, low-carbohydrate diet can lead to less inflammation in the gut, and that can help the vagus nerve work optimally and handle stress better. According to a study published in the BMJ, prebiotics and probiotics can also ease depression by increasing the gut’s “good bacteria,” though the jury is still out on anxiety.

The Takeaway

Anxiety is complex, and vagus nerve exercises alone can’t eradicate it. Of course, it’s essential to work with a mental health professional to manage anxiety or depression. Still, for life’s everyday bumps in the road, a quick fix when you really need it, or a longer-term way to shake things off more easily, stimulating your vagus nerve can be one more weapon in your arsenal against stress.

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Scroll through any social media app and you’re bound to see the same video: A woman (slim, of course) waking up at 5 a.m. in her aesthetically-pleasing apartment, pouring herself a glass of lemon water, meditating, journaling, reading the same rotation of self-help books, exercising in an expensive matching workout set outfit, applying fancy skincare, making a breakfast full of buzzy health foods (think: smoothie bowls, avocado toast, green juice), and then starting her day. The phenomenon, which appeared last year but is still, somehow, trending, is known as “That Girl.” It’s supposed to be aspirational—encouraging people to be their most productive, happiest, healthiest selves.

I don’t know about you, but I barely have time to squeeze in my morning workout before starting the workday. My breakfast is usually the same four-ingredient smoothie because I’m trying to stay on-budget and on-time. My exercise clothing never matches, and I could simply never fit in a meditation or journaling sesh. I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. because I have to—not because it brings me joy. And despite being a former beauty writer and having access to every single product on the market, I stick to the same five-step routine because my skin is comedically acne-prone and oh-so-sensitive.

Still, despite this practical approach to my days, every time I see a “That Girl” video, I feel like a colossal underachiever. Am I failing at life because I’m not “That Girl?” 

Of course not, but it still feels that way. Experts agree: “In general, anything that establishes an unattainable ideal does more harm than good,” says Pamela Rutledge, PhD, MBA, director of the media psychology research center and faculty in the media psychology program at Fielding Graduate University. “It doesn’t matter if it’s filters and lighting on Insta or lifestyle trends on TikTok.”

I spoke to therapists about what exactly makes the “That Girl” trend so toxic. Read on to see what they said.

What Is the “That Girl” Trend?

OK, let’s back up. What even is the “That Girl” trend? It’s an archetype that rose to popularity on TikTok back in April 2021. And for the record,  while the trend emphasizes the word “girl,” these are full-blown women. It’s intended to motivate: to show people what life could be like if they committed to all the small changes they always talk about making (waking up earlier, creating a morning routine, exercising daily, eating healthier). That Girl wakes up at 5 a.m. That Girl does her yoga or pilates every single day. That Girl has a smoothie full of fruits and veggies for breakfast. That Girl has her life together.

Of course, that’s what we all want. But is ‘That Girl’ really the ideal we should all be striving for?

Not so much, according to experts. “It’s depicted as perfect or on top of it all. It fails to represent the days we need extra sleep, leave the unmade bed, or accidentally miss workout class,” says Hannah Tishman, psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker. You know, real life.

Why Therapists Hate the ‘That Girl’ Trend

Despite its popularity, therapists say you should clear your feed (as much as possible) of this trend. Here’s why.

It Causes Comparison to an Unattainable Standard

With social media, it’s easier than ever to compare your life to others. Here’s the kicker: Any type of comparison on social media has been proven to cause symptoms of depression (so no, it’s not in your head). “Comparison on social media can bring up feelings of inadequacy, fatigue, sadness, loneliness, and anxiety,” Tishman says. “It can increase disordered eating behaviors and an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise.”

The ‘That Girl’ trend takes this comparison to a whole new level—inadvertently shaming people for not having their lives completely together. And, since, if you’re like me, every other video on your TikTok feed is some girl being ‘That Girl,’ it’s especially easy to get caught up in the idea of what we think we should be doing. But Tishman says it’s important to challenge this notion whenever possible. “Remove the word ‘should’ from your day-to-day vocabulary—it can be toxic,” she says. “Replace it with ‘could,’ which allows us to feel like we have agency and choice. Choose what feels good to your mind and body, and what might meet an unmet need in that moment.” And this goes for any comparisons you find yourself making after scrolling social media, not just ‘That Girl.’

The Focus on Hyper-Productivity Is a Recipe for Burnout

The idea that if we’re doing everything perfectly and working hard at all times, we’ll be successful only sets us up for failure. “Waking up early, meditating, journaling, exercising, cooking, and doing all of these things before starting work is actually very beneficial—but doing these things every single day with no break is a recipe for imbalance,” Tishman says. “As humans, we need rest, recovery, and to allow ourselves to have days off.”

Additionally, it pulls focus from what’s really important. “This focus on productivity leads to [people] becoming ‘human doings’ instead of ‘human beings,’” says Ann Kearney Cooke, PhD, psychologist and wellness coach at The Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. “Yes it is important to set goals, eat healthy, and move—but it is just as important to connect with your family and friends, rest, be adventurous, and have fun,” Dr. Cooke says.

It’s important to remember that our productivity doesn’t measure our worth (easier said than done). “There are several ways to be successful, and it’s important to define what that means to you individually, not just to do what is trending, which could lead to burnout,” Tishman adds. “Asking yourself the intention behind each of these morning activities can be a great way to slow down, increase mindfulness, and to identify which parts of your routine actually align with what feels good for you rather than what you think you should be doing.”

Routine is important—it keeps us centered and grounded (believe me, I am a Routine Girlie through and through). But, rest and recovery are just as important. Tishman says there should be room for flexibility and chances to ask what our minds and bodies need every day.

It Relies on External Signifiers of Success

Another downfall of this internet phenomenon? It relies on external signifiers of success (an early morning alarm, a daily workout, healthy food in the fridge, fancy skincare products in your bathroom). These may indicate that you’re being The Best Version Of Yourself, but Tishman begs to differ. “Is that what you need to feel like the best version of yourself?” she asks. “What does it even mean to feel like the best version of yourself?”

For me, it’s feeling healthy, getting enough sleep, moving my body regularly, and enjoying the present moment. Tishman adds that focusing on your actual needs is essential to being the best version of yourself. “Some areas to focus on might be quality sleep, nutrition, quality time with loved ones, having a movement practice, and being capable of saying no to things that may not serve you in that moment,” she explains.

And, as we all know, looking like your life is together isn’t the same as actually having your life together. Changing your entire routine and lifestyle won’t do much without some inner work too. “This trend depicts a self-absorbed lifestyle and doesn’t focus on what really makes people happy and well—healthy connections with others,” Dr. Cooke says. “The goal shouldn’t be ‘How can I become That Girl?’—instead it should be How can I become me: What are my signature strengths? What are my values? How can I express myself?’”

TLDR: No 5 a.m. alarm or colorful smoothie bowl will fix the fact that your needs aren’t being met or that you’re avoiding important inner work. (Not what you wanted to hear, I know.) Plus, your options aren’t limited to what you’re seeing in these videos. If you don’t like smoothie bowls, there are dozens of other healthy breakfast options. If you hate yoga, there are so many other ways to move your body. Not into meditation? You can still do other things for your mental health.

The Trend is Economically Exclusive

Finally, my own personal beef with this trend: It’s wildly expensive. You can’t be “That Girl” without spending hundreds of dollars on groceries, skincare, and matching workout sets. “A lot of women may feel that if they don’t buy these products, they aren’t enough or they aren’t achieving success,” Tishman says.

As a result, they might experience low self-esteem, live outside their means (spending money they don’t have), and suffer from a general low mood. But Tishman says it doesn’t have to be this way. “There are so many ways to live a healthy and balanced lifestyle within your means and being able to be selective about what feels attainable to you is essential.”

How to Practice Self-Care Without Being That Girl

Despite good intentions, therapists agree: Nobody should be trying to be ‘That Girl’. So, how else can you practice self-care outside of this trend? The answer will vary from person to person, but the unifying factor is increasing your self-awareness of how your mind and body feel easy day, Tishman says.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How does my body feels when I wake up?
• How would I describe my mood today?
• What do I need right now to feel grounded?

“These questions can help you to determine how you can take care of yourself without adding extra pressure from an online trend,” Tishman says. 

Screw being That Girl—just be yourself. You’re already enough.

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The post Therapists Want to Shut Down TikTok’s ‘That Girl’ Trend. Here’s Why appeared first on HUM Nutrition Blog.